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[01 Dec 2009|01:45am] |
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What was said should really have hurt, but... I dont know how to describe the feeling it gave me. It sucked yet I knew that it was somewhat true. They say when kids grow up they learn the difference between right and wrong. That doesnt mean they always choose the right path.
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[26 Nov 2009|11:12pm] |
"I'm a free bitch baby."
and that is all that needs to be said
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[26 Nov 2009|05:45am] |
Maybe I can start believing that I really am THE SHIT.
Tonight was insane. I don't know if I'm allowed in the 5star anymore, but fuck it i guess.
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[17 Nov 2009|09:30pm] |
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Everyone told me not to bring it up but I did and I feel a lot better.
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[15 Nov 2009|03:19am] |
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I'm such a dweeb... Ugh I blew it.
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[07 Nov 2009|11:08am] |
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I'm fighting with myself because I'm bat shit crazy about you but I want to be realistic
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[03 Nov 2009|01:47am] |
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I suck at interacting with men.
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[30 Oct 2009|12:06am] |
Why facebook friends (and I) are weird: I just added a girl who once had a boyfriend that cheated on her with me...
I was young and dumb?
Now I'm sorta young and dumb?
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[27 Oct 2009|02:40pm] |
eh nothing new just that same old lack of motivation
I want o do something fun. Its my day off damnit.
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[26 Oct 2009|12:37am] |
I wanna say that I miss you but I haven't really talked to you in over a year. I have no clue if you're the same person. I hope you are because I really did love you and I would hate it if a good personality got wasted. Good people are so hard to come by these days. I don't care if I sound crazy saying I miss someone I dated for a year over a year ago. I miss staying home and hanging out with you watching dumb tv shows and renting random movies. I miss bowling every week and getting super excited at the rare times I could beat you. I miss when you would fart and think it was the funniest thing in the world.I miss you cutting my bangs because I'm sure you're the only person who liked them. I miss your tommy boy impressions... Spot on buddy. I miss you randomly singing even though I've told you I hated your old band.
Screw it. This isn't me missing an EX-BOYFRIEND. I MISS MY GOOD FRIEND.
God damnit I have been so bummed out lately (like always though right?) I don't know what to do with myself anymore so I go out every night and try to exhaust myself so I don't have to think about anything. Thr truth is that I still go home to myself and I still have that time before I fall asleep where every worry passes through my mind.
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[11 Oct 2009|12:10am] |
Gah such a good day!
Loved walking with andrea and watching ballroom dancing.
Then had had coffee with tia who I haven't hung out with in forever. I hope I start seeing her often because that is a rad chick and I think her friends are awesome. Hopefully we can get to a fallon-free conversation hahaha.
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[07 Oct 2009|01:44pm] |
Do I say fuck it and let go of a friendship?
I just want to move out of the state and out of everyones problems.
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[05 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
Omg best night ever in tahoe. I have not been that drunk in a long time if ever.
HI ANDREA!
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[30 Sep 2009|01:33am] |
-it was really nice to see Jesse and not worry about where his mind is at. I think him getting a girlfriend is one of the best things to happen to our friendship. Its a black and white situation. No maybes.
-i can't figure out why when I'm at my parents house I get this restless feeling. Its bad enough to make me wanna drive home at 2 in the morning yet I know that halfway through the drive ill be god awfully tired... Eh I get restless at my casa as well. Here its more of a weird gut feeling.
-bill time is almost here... I'm so scared!
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[28 Sep 2009|01:16am] |
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It drives me nuts that I can never sleep at a decent hour and nights like this one are the worst. I just want someone to interact with. Most of my day is spent talking to people for literally 30 seconds at a time. Its nothing of relevance to me either.bullshitting is what I do all day really. I don't remember the last time I truly connected with someone, romance involved or not.in fact I'm becoming more of a recluse out of dissappointment.this is just one miserable bitch filled day after another.
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[27 Sep 2009|12:41am] |
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Liking you is the worst. Ever since we met about 3 years ago, you've been somewhere in my thoughts. I have always gotten excited at the thought of you. I know you've always liked me too. Problem? We have both been chickenshit / unmotivated the whole time.we recently decided to finally own up to our butterflies for eachother, but it doesn't mean squat because you moved to new york for school.
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[21 Sep 2009|11:02am] |
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Last night was... AMAZING. It may sound lame, but I got choked up. Btbam creates beautiful music. I need to devise a way to tour with them. I wish I knew that Travis was géþting in free. I could have scored a guest pass. Ugh does not matter. It was worth every penny. I think if they had played sun of nothing, I would have completely died. Haha and I'm so glad that the other part of the night was not as weird as I thought it would be. In fact, the fact that I didn't even get a little bummed out made me 10x happier. I was so glad to see some old friends (the bff triangle lol).
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[16 Sep 2009|05:04pm] |
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Its great that I haven't been all wrapped up in someone, but it would be nice if I could have something to help me ignore my current hardships. I have barely seen my friends in the past few weeks.it gets kinda lonely when no one calls.
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[07 Sep 2009|12:46am] |
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Oh Matthew... I'm so scared that once we stop dicking around and get to know each other that the spark won't be there.its not that I even want a relationship. Its that you are such a nice boy from what I know that I don't want my opinion of you to go sour or vica versa. Man I need to go to sleep and let this alcohol bug me tomorrow.
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[06 Sep 2009|03:12pm] |
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I really need internet. Both Deviantart and ModelMayhem are blocked at Java Jungle. I did a set with Amy and I liked the way the pics came out and wanted to upload them. I'm lining up another set with this girl named Bre. I'm so excited. I haven't done this in forever and I forgot how much fun it is!
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